Bad Trailers for Great Films… Bad Trailers for Bad Films… and “A Spoon-full of SCARY!”

Who would’ve thought that a movie with a trailer like the original one for “The Good, Bad and the Ugly” would be so good? By today’s standards it’s laughable. Not only that….. hilarious. The movie remains one of the best in film history. Check it out.

Movies you never expected to be good….and weren’t.  Like TROLL 2.

THE TTWM AWARD FOR TRUTH IN ADVERTISING SHOULD BE GIVEN TO THE GUY THAT RE-CUT THIS VID, SHOWING THE REAL MARY POPPINS!

Hiding behind that uber-annoying disgustingly phoney attitude is one Scary Mary Poppins! I knew it!  How she didn’t creep me out as a kid I’ll never understand.  Somehow I fell under her plastic spell. I sang “Spoon-full-of-Sugar” until my tonsils hung out of my mouth!  I danced with a dish towel on my head (since we didn’t have any of those keen english shrunken hats), until my mother hid all of the dishtowels so that her foolish nine year old would come to the dinner table instead of dancing round a record player spinning Marlo Thomas and Mary Poppins records all evening pretending to Mary or “That Girl!”  When I wasn’t acting like an psycho flying English nanny or a twenty something New York socialite with a boyfriend named Donald, I used a long bamboo stick that I wrestled away from our dalmation, as a tall  unbearably untrustworthy umbrella.

No, I didn’t think I could fly, but I wasn’t at all adverse to climbing on the brick wall and jumping over the rose bushes a few times.   How I was suckered into that trusk’s phoney little spell I’ll never know.  Up until a few months ago, I still carried fond memories of one Mary Poppins from my childhood straight on into adulthood.

Those memories crash landed the night I ventured back to the Dorothy Chandler in Los Angeles, last  November to see “Mary Poppins the Broadway show”. The lackluster performances, joyless routines, forced acting and weakly submitted “Joy” given forth by mis-cast lettuce fed actors were the kiss of death for this play.

Mary Poppins is about joy, wonder, fantasy, and happiness no matter what.  It’s about how kids deserve fun, adults that respect them and actually play with them.

None of this came through in the “Mary” that was in L.A. recently.  None of it! The underlyingly angry and consistently maniacal laughter of the very narcissistic Mary herself RUINED it all!! That actress should be single-handedly punished for ruining my idylic memories of “the cheerful parasolled one.”

I almost cried there in the 12th row from orchestra. Cozy in my semi-plush crushed fabric seat. I could feel my childhood memories actually being sucked straight outta my head .Perfectly perky Ms. Poppins was quickly stashed out like a dirty little cigarette smashed into an ashtray filled with butt ridden sand.

The new and dark Mary came across nefariously cute.  Cute with an air of suscpicion in her smile.   Cute in the way that  someone is cute because they are up to something.    You don’t know what it is, but you know it’s not good.   And…though I suspect that was not the director’s aim, Mary was also quite sarcastic.

My  nine  year old son, later told me that he disliked Mary,  “she was mean mommy!” and “she was hiding something! ” and…” just why was she such a bully?”

Yes, it was true, the play gave great time to Mary’s little quips about how “perfect” and she was portrayed her as quite mean alot of the time…but  most of all my  kids noticed that there was nothing ‘special’ about Mary, she didn’t especially ‘love children’ so what was the deal? The kids were left feeling like ‘why?”why do the children love Mary?  and most importantly, “why should WE like Mary?”  The writer and director of the play did not build in scenes that built up  this feeling.  Kids pick up on negativity,  even if it’s just in nanobytes, and this play had a huge stream of it just sort of ruining the chi of it all. Mary is about chi.  The chi of joy, the revelation of happiness, and how children exude it.  And in the original story you connected with Mary, her inner joy and you appreciated her character.

I wanted my kids to enjoy the chi of Mary, to have the same connection that I felt as a child.  Children understand that through play, they build friendship, optimism and care for others.

All of this got me thinking… Well, let’s see.  Mary:  flys, (yes.  evil….yes…check!  that’s in horror films)..hmmm…..sometimes Mary, shows up in mirrors and not in physical form!  Very weird! classifies as certifiably ghostly.. Check again..evil? I would think so! Let’s see…the setting is  turn of the century Englad, yes…Everything grey…yes…hmm…foggy…lots of silouhetted people, bells tolling,  wet sidewalks, horses clattering feet….yes, scary I would say so……but evil? well…maybe….okay, half a check for that one.   Toys moving by themselves?  That the stuff of haunted houses!  Large items in her carpet bag (items that CANNOT POSSIBLY fit in one’s carpet bag?!)…VERY SCARY!!!   I would say that is DEFINITELY otherworldly!

I think I made my point.  This is the trailer that would’ve  represented  truth in advertising for one Ms. Mary Poppins!   If not the Mary of yesteryear maybe for the Mary of today!

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