Ditch the Dead Heads!!!

No, We’re definitely not talking about your favorite Jerry Bear / Bob Weir lovin’ friends,

Jer-Bear and Bob

but the un-moving, previously living creatures above your head in your favorite restaurant or bar..

I’ve always thought those folks that hang the heads of moose, elk and the like were a bit looney tunes (still do), but mostly I hate going into restaurants and eating under the glassy eyed stare of some poor Elk that was probably just minding his own business checking out some milk thistle or looking for the perfect cow to hang out with. You know pass the boring time in the woods, that dang outback up there in Maine or in Canada or some place, vast, and cold.  Somewhere where things are peaceful.  It’s rough waiting until the permafrost melts.   The only ruckus is when Dick Cheney and his cronies start combing the taiga in search of living things to shoot for sport.

"Satan-i-cheney" Coutesy of democralypsenow.blogspot.com

Oh!  Damn…I guess other humanoids holding boston lager in hunter’s fatigues don’t count.  Hey! Dick makes mistakes doesn’t everyone? sic.  Back to the other denizens of the taiga who mind their own business, actually belong there and don’t drink boston lager whilst handling firearms, who would that be?….um…let’s see… the animals?

More and more the “Deco-hunter-trend” seems to have oozed slowly from the taiga of the greater Northern Americas and seeped into the hearts and minds of upscale “uber-designers” as they have never been so keen as to use this motif for or  in lighting fixtures, lamps and upscale restaurants.  I think that we would be better Americans if we changed the  “scene of Americana,”  or at the very least the icons of the “Great North America.”

PETA members, active and gift-bearing sympathizers are now “on to”  those that promote the subjugating practice of buying and displaying Trophy animals on the walls of their restaurants, bars and personal spaces. Animal activists (whom should quite simply be called life Activists, as they are supporting and protecting life, in particular the lives of animals), have been asking everyone to consider the rights that animals have to live.  These activists are asking us all to go a step further and think about “the promotion of the horror of  killing for sport”  in particular the use of “trophy animals.” If Trophy heads are being used in the “design” of a “space” or to support an “art idea” it is wrong. Yes, we are talking to you!  The fine artists dwelling saliently in dilapidated but decidedly cool downtown lofts, we urge you to really think about your “installations. Do they even vaguely support this subjugation?  Hopefully not.  Hopefully arm-chair activists we have not become.  Manifesting our activism on blogs and Face-book but rarely in real life.     Whether it’s a convoluted window dressing “just trying to give the feeling of Americana”, or “the close to the bone living off the land ” type of feel, it is wrong.   How about the restaurant designer who thinks that a trophy-head gives that just right je ne sais quois,  mix of testosterone and boutique lager” that draws in the 21-35’er “city cool” male demographic he’s aiming for?  This trend is bad for the animals, for environmentalism, it’s bad judgement in general, and further teaches our children to subjugate animals.  Let’s let Johnny who pours salt on slugs grow out of that ‘sometimes common boyhood mis-judgement’, and become a concerned and caring individual not only towards other humans, but also toward his unspeaking but feeling animal neighbors.

I’ve got a great idea!  Let’s substitute Trophy animals with “Trophy wives?”  How about that?  Imagine for a moment won’t you?   Woman “A” puts an ad in (of course, Craig’s List), for a “sugar-daddy” and voila!  One “dubiously lucky” guy gets his trophy wife and then has a bolt driven into her underside and has her put on a trophy mount!   No longer a nuissance  having her on his arm for the looks and no meaningful conversation, and the status 2-7, now he can pretty much just place her on a shelf to point out whenever guests come by to visit.

It’s the “hey look what I did!” syndrome.  “Aren’t I a man? Look how strong and able I am!”  It’s where primitivo meets insecurity.  It can be on Match.com or in a restaurant in Michigan.  We can’t control whose psyche needs the trophy, but we can control whether we patronize establishments that display that kind of cruelty. If we wouldn’t think of doing that to women in America, then why do we do that to our Moose and Elk friends?

If it's good enough for the Trophy Moose, it's good enough for the Trophy Wife

When you enter a restaurant or bar that promotes this practice.  Ask them this:

Concerned cool person (you) says: “Excuse me, may I ask you a question?”

Capricious and unaware or just plain cruel bar / restaurant owner:  “Sure! What’s up? seating okay?”

Concerned cool person (You) says:  “I was wondering whether you enjoy decapitation.”

Capricious and unaware or just plain cruel bar / restaurant owner:  “What the? Why would you ask me that?”

Concerned cool person (you) says: Well I don’t think that it’s necessary to mount lifeless decapitated animals on the walls to make your food any better.  We all “get” the “Americana” thing.  Can I replace the Moose head with a piece of art work representing that moose / elk head?

Capricious and unaware or just plain cruel bar / restaurant owner:  “Um… well can I see your artwork?”

At this point, you have a potential customer, you can tell them about how they ‘really don’t want PETA to come and review the restaurant’ and then show them your portfolio.

It’s suggested to have some ideas available or at least pull up your blog on your iphone and show them your work.

Here’s a cool installation I ran across, and sky’s the limit on what else can be ideated!

Go to 2 http://www.watermelonwatermelon.com to read about this artwork

please…I don’t want to look into those glassy sad eyes anymore, anywhere.

-Chrissylong

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